Highly Prestigious (and definitely not Fake) Awards:

Gold badge with black text saying "The Global Institute of Panicked Entrepreneurs 23:" and center text stating "Most Errors Created & Fixed Before Lunch."
A silver coin with the text "Most Dramatic Near-Miss with the Post Office Closing Time" engraved on it.
Pixelated star graphic with text: "Most Time Spent Designing a Post That Got Three Views (Two Were Mine)."

Most Errors Created & Fixed Before Lunch

The Global Institute of Panicked Entrepreneurs 23’

2nd Place for "Most Dramatic Near-Miss with the Post Office Closing Time"

The Association of Last-Minute Mailers

The Golden Pixel for “Most Time Spent Designing a Post That Got Three Views (Two Were Mine)”

The Algorithm Anxiety Research Foundation